Fuck WordPress, Too

So importing my old posts gives the impression that the code will be brought in too, but evidently, NO!

Oh sure, they look like links, but no, sorry. Not really!

Fucking cocksucking asshole piece of shit blogging fuckwad cuntlick dick for drains piece of shit sites!

Fuck YOU Blogger, You Nazi Cocksuckers

So Google in it’s infinite wisdom still maintains that I am in Germany and refuses to allow me to access my Blogger homepage in English. Now, this may very well be an insidious attempt by some Blogger or Google employee somewhere demonstrate irony. Think about it, the somewhat fascistic Bushie fan’s Blogger homepage won’t come up except in German? Hardee-fucking-har-har! That’s fucking funny!

Since I have tried all of the simple solutions (emptying caches, re-installing software, removing cookies, re-booting routers and modems, resetting the IP address, trashing preferences, repairing Disk Permissions, etc.) and emails to the Overlords of the Google High Command have been answered with kind and pleasant variations on the theme of, “Tell us you love our cock in your ass!”

A Moon for the Misbegotten

Spacey! Meaney! Best!

No, that last one is not an adjective, but the last name of actress Eve Best who takes a whack at Eugene O’Neill’s “big, ugly hulk” of a woman, Josie Hogan, until June 10th at the Brooks Atkinson Theatre in the Old Vic’s production of Eugene O’Neill’s A Moon for the Misbegotten.

Sure the press here’s going to focus on Kevin Spacey’s portrayal of besotted actor and landlord, Jim Tyrone, but they’ll be wrong to do so. This is Josie’s show and she throws it on her back and bears it along as easily as if it were a rucksack filled with feathers.

I have to admit that the only other time I saw Moon, it was in 2000 and the stars were Cherry Jones, Gabriel Byrne and Roy Dotrice, all of whom were honored with Tony Award nominations for their work with Dotrice winning Best Featured Actor that year. Unfortunately, t was an ill-fated eve and suffice it to say I didn’t see the end of the show. A great irony it was to be tossed for drunkenness from that show, no? So it’s been seven years I’ve waited for it to return so I could see the bloody end. Thankfully, Spacey and his Old Vic-ers saw fit to bring it back to me.

Mickey Kaus articulates my thoughts for me, but not about Becca Mann

Try but fail is not the motto of our effort in Iraq, but of what the Democrats in Congress are doing with their funding showdown. At least according to my sometime guru, Mickey Kaus. It’s win/win for everybody. All it requires is a President who doesn’t give a flying fuck what anyone thinks of him. I love that Dubya!

Oh and somewhere Becca Mann is still naked and we ALL are happy that she is, because what could be better than a naked Louisville Cheerleader like Becca Mann? Take that Southern Boy!!

Carole McLain’s Ass

Since Carlos brought it up, I thought I should maybe enlighten folks as to what the hell he’s babbling about.

Years ago when we were young and thin (you can see how far back I’m going here), Carlos and I were competitive swimmers. Yep, I can remember being disqualified from a swim meet when I was 5 for being too young. Evidently that whole 8 & Under category was really 6-8 and no one bothered to tell any of us. But we grew up swimming. At the YMCA in the winter at the Olympic Club in the summer and up and down the East Coast and throughout the Mid West at away meets. A good 70% of the year, we were in the pool. In Speedos. Remember, I said we were thin back then.

I think it was 1982 that I lifted my head up in the middle of one of Coach Tim Hilk’s brutal seats of 400 IMs to see a vision in purple. Standing on the deck talking to the Coach was one a drop dead beauty. I completely missed the next sendoff and screwed up the whole lane because I was staring, drooling, panting and wondering if I would still be this hard after a hundred fly when it came time for the hundred back. Eventually we got back on time and finished the set, but now there was a new distraction: new purple-suited super hottie was in the lane next to us.

My new favorite Google Search

“i wouldliketo watch arabic sex movies” led someone here. Oh fuck yeah!

Peyton’s appearance on SNL was HILARIOUS!

And so I’ll link to parts of it!

Opening Monologue:

The United Way Skit:

The Mercedes 550 Meatloaf Lovers Edition

Peyton Dancing in the Locker Room:

The 300

Some of the other stuff was just as good, but I don’t have links to it.

Ding, Dong Theismann’s Dead

Since I don’t have cable, it doesn’t do me any good except on those rare nights that a NY team is featured on MNF, but Joe Theismann is gone from the booth. I know, I know the tears of joy are pouring down my face. Replaced by a YSU alum, too. Go get ‘em Jaws. To do worse would require all natural laws to simultaneously cease to exist and the time/space continuum to fold in on itself, so you’ve got that going for you. Praise ESPN!

Pat Boone’s 2007 TV Decency Survey

I really encourage anyone who reads this blog, finds it accidentally while searching for naked pictures of former Louisville Cheerleader Becca Mann, has stumbled here after seeing one of my drive-bys at another blog or who found me after typing the phrase Fuck the Evangelicals into Google to take this survey. Once you see it you’ll know why. I’m not going to tell you how to answer, but I will say that if you agree with Pat Boone I may spit in your hole like Sergio Fucking Garcia at the 13th at Doral.

Vote in the survey. Send it to your friends and encourage them to vote in it. Let’s see if we can’t give them a survey that will make them sit up and take notice of their own stupidity.

Bull Mooses They Ain’t

With Chucky’s (no not that one) announcement that he’s going to support Joltin’ Jim’s as yet unwritten amendment on the Senate’s Supplemental Defense Appropriation Bill (a.k.a. the bill that veto built) rumblings are starting in quiet corners that the two are considering joining forces for an ‘08 run.

For the sake of argument what are the chances of a Hagel/Webb ticket?

Slim to none.

It wouldn’t even get past the planning stages as it would have to be an Independent ticket. The GOP hates Hagel already so he’s got no shot at the GOP nomination. The NetRoots love Webb but would never support a Republican, even one so anti-Iraq and anti-Bush as Hagel (not even if he switched parties and I doubt he would). so the ticket has no support from either base.

It would suffer as most supposedly moderate tickets do from the stigma that it’s just Democrat-lite or Republican-lite. What I mean is, when push comes to shove it has no shot at either party’s nomination so it would have to be a third party ticket. Third party tickets usually are cursed by their very independence: an independent Republican is probably going to look like a conservative Democrat and a conservative Democrat is going to look like a liberal Republican. When push comes to shove, people look at those types and decide to vote for the real thing: the party’s nominee.

The only third party types that ever gain any traction in the modern era are ones that go to the far side of their party. Perot managed to hand two elections to the Democrats because he ran to the right of both GOP candidates on financial matters. He was more conservative than the Republicans. Same thing with Nader in 2000: he was more liberal than Gore and handed it to the Supreme Court.

Fusion tickets with moderates don’t in the end gain any votes except those of the media to whom they give great stories. Even in this polarized electorate where people may indeed be looking for someone to heal things, they’ll take one party or the other over a candidate that’s not really either one.

It’s Kobe’s world

OK, I’ll start off by admitting that I don’t like him. Not a bit. Never have. He always seemed like a smarmy little wannabee who was never the man but thought he was. That out of the way, with his latest exploit I think we all have to admit that he’s something very, very special.

He’s not Jordan who willed his teams to six championships or Oscar or Bill but he is a Wilt for our ages. By tying Wilt’s record of 4 straight games of 50 points or more he’s earned that. Jordan had three. But the difference is Wilt and Jordan both got the majority of their points inside; Wilt by being Wilt and Jordan by penetrating and posting up. Kobe’s shooting like no one ever has.

He’s always had a sweet shot, always. It’s just that now he’s hitting everything in sight. Couple these with his 81 point explosion last year and the 27 games of 40 or more points and it’s unbelievable.

I think in the future people are going to look back and wonder why we didn’t pay more attention to Kobe’s game. Will the hot tub be the culprit? Will he have an asterisk? I don’t think so. He’ll go down as one of the greatest ever.

Who’s the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant?

Every once in a while I go to IMBD.com and remind myself of the brilliance of R. Lee Ermey and his turn as Gunny Hartman in Full Metal Jacket. Spend a little time perusing the quotes. Now R. Lee wasn’t even hired to play the role of Gunny Hartman. It just kinda ended up that way just like the way that most of his dialogue ended up improvised. Oh sure, he knew where the scene was supposed to go and what the important parts were, but that opening scene? Pure Ermey. God, I love it so!

From Der Spiegel (which is not the Spiegel catalog, does anybody remember the Spiegel catalog?) by way of Ace and Say Anything comes the tale of the German judge who just loves the Koran so much that she feels it gives a hubby the right to beat his wife. I look forward to similar cases in the United States: “Well, boy, it dun says right here in Leviticus…”

Bush administration Gestapo Storm Troopers attacked peace loving anti-war protesters in SF today…oh wait, no those were Gavin Newsome’s police rousting protesters from in front of Speaker Pelosi’s place on the day of the Iraq Funding bill vote. Damn those vicious intolerant Democrats!

Daily Scripture 21 Mar 07

Isaiah 49 (NASB)

8 Thus says the LORD, “In a favorable time I have answered You, in a day of salvation I have helped You; And I will keep You and give You for a covenant of the people, To restore the land, to make them inherit the desolate heritages;

9 Saying to those who are bound, ‘Go forth,’ To those who are in darkness, ‘Show yourselves ‘ Along the roads they will feed, And their pasture will be on all bare heights.

10 “They will not hunger or thirst, Nor will the scorching heat or sun strike them down; For He who has compassion on them will lead them will guide them to springs of water.

11 “I will make all My mountains a road, And My highways will be raised up.

12 “Behold, these will come from afar; And lo, these will come from the north and from the west, these from the land of Sinim.”

13 Shout for joy, O heavens! And rejoice, O earth! Break forth into joyful shouting, O mountains! the LORD has comforted His people And will have compassion on His afflicted.

14 But Zion said, “The LORD has forsaken me, And the Lord has forgotten me.”

15 “Can a woman forget her nursing child And have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you.

Daily Scripture 20 Mar 07

Ezekiel 47 (NIV)

1 The man brought me back to the entrance of the temple, and I saw water coming out from under the threshold of the temple toward the east (for the temple faced east). The water was coming down from under the south side of the temple, south of the altar.

2 He then brought me out through the north gate and led me around the outside to the outer gate facing east, and the water was flowing from the south side.

3 As the man went eastward with a measuring line in his hand, he measured off a thousand cubits and then led me through water that was ankle-deep.

4 He measured off another thousand cubits and led me through water that was knee-deep. He measured off another thousand and led me through water that was up to the waist.

5 He measured off another thousand, but now it was a river that I could not cross, because the water had risen and was deep enough to swim in—a river that no one could cross.

6 He asked me, “Son of man, do you see this?” Then he led me back to the bank of the river.

7 When I arrived there, I saw a great number of trees on each side of the river.

8 He said to me, “This water flows toward the eastern region and goes down into the Arabah, where it enters the Sea. When it empties into the Sea, the water there becomes fresh.

9 Swarms of living creatures will live wherever the river flows. There will be large numbers of fish, because this water flows there and makes the salt water fresh; so where the river flows everything will live.

12 Fruit trees of all kinds will grow on both banks of the river. Their leaves will not wither, nor will their fruit fail. Every month they will bear, because the water from the sanctuary flows to them. Their fruit will serve for food and their leaves for healing.”

You’ll never look right in teal, Joey

I miss Joey Porter already. Some people might look at something like attacking a Bengals O-Lineman in a casino as a bad thing. They’d be wrong. Levi’s got 2″ of height and 57 lbs on our boy Joey and who’s the one that’s getting the police called on him? Yep. The loser of a fight rarely gets the police called on him.

Never in teal, Joey. Never-ever-never.