something in the water i guess

so i have discovered something about my conservatism that i thought i would share with you. i have recently begun reading, as part of my daily tour of the internet, a blog by hugh hewitt . now he’s a bit of a barking right wing moonbat, but sometimes when i am down in the dumps about the prospects of the election i like to read the words of the catastrophically optimistic.

to give you an idea, he’s a weekly columnist for the daily standard (the daily version of the weekly standard ) and for world net daily (the folks on the right who make michael moore look scholarly and calm).

while browsing his blog the other day i discovered that he’s from my hometown (he’s a bit older having graduated hs in 1970 a freaking kennedy eagle to boot). evidently he’s also got this absurd pride of hometown that i find in many of the ex-pats of

warren, ohio that i run into out in the world. you’d be surprised how many freaking people in the theatre hail from my hometown. per capita it’s pretty good. i thought hey, that’s pretty cool, another fascist from my hometown!

but today took the cake. i was browsing his blog and found that john kerry will be appearing tonight a block from my parents’ home. mom has refused my entreaties to go with a bc04 sign citing the possibility of violence and no amount of my cajoling her and promising her martyr status in the pantheon of republican all stars would change her mind.

angry and sullen i reminded her that if she refused to speak up then she had no one to blame but herself when a communist agent of the international gay and lesbian brotherhood and sisterhood was elected to the throne and enacts compulsory abortions and state funded sex changes while allowing trans special marriages and championing incest as a population control. when even these appeals to her core issues failed, i screamed, “they’re killing the kumari women!!” twice, broke down in tears and promptly hung up on her and went back to reading hugh’s blog, which brings us back to the point.

in the next sentence i found that the lesser satan, the minion who takes a back seat only to karl rove also hails from my hometown. that’s right, fox news head honcho: roger ailes. his days of broadway long behind him (he was one of the producers of the original hot l baltimore) he now exists to merely help with our furtherance of the vast right wing agenda.

like I said, something in the water i guess.

12:43

it’s 12:43 and drudge has had a freakin’ siren screaming for the past few minutes touting a world exclusive controversial video. no one seems to be noticing yet but me and i’m going apeshit wondering what it is. c’mon matt, have a freakin’ heart here and let me in on the secret, ya fedora sportin’ bastard!

in other news, the dead sox seem to be at the precipice of either breaking the curse or beginning the most apocalyptic choke in history, even worse than the yankees. but as much as i might hope and pray and offer sacrifices to the volcano gods to achieve that end, i must admit that it’s much more likely that they will sweep tonight and once and for all end the curse of the bambino. brother mambo called last night to point out that it seems like the cards don’t really want to win and have actually embraced their role in the sox’s history making moment. then this morning as i was on the treadmill (yay, finally actually made it!!) i saw that tony larussa’s 0-7 in world series games as a manager since 1990. beantown gets to break the curse of the bambino and it’s looking frighteningly like lurch might possibly get elected. oh god, say it ain’t so! so this is what julia sweeney was talking about.

UPDATE: here it is. al qaeda will striek this week and the streets will run red with blood as it will dwarf 9/11. oh yeah, and the speaker’s got an american accent. southern california to be specific.

crikey! ‘e’s a freakin’ commie!

the scrupulously fair and notriously balanced worldnetdaily.com has an article today that alleges and supplies waht it construes as proof that lurch is a commie and met with the commies and carried out a commie agenda when he got home from his honeymoon in paris where he met with the commies. now, the fact that fellow warrenite hugh hewitt seems to write for them, i tend to take worldnetdaily with agrain of salt. it’s not like we don’t already know this and nor is it like aanyone’s going to listen beyond the safe gop cocoon. try getting any of the msm (mainstream media) to say anything bad about lurch over the next few days. go ahead. it’s kinda like trying to get a jew to eat bacon.

21

from the lovely polipundit comes the right wing answer to electoral-vote.com in the form a blog from long time polipundit reader and poster, scott elliott: electoralprojection.com. checkout the essay from february with the 21 reasons why bush will win and see if they hold up!

for those of you who don’t know, electoral-vote.com is a site that tabulates and projects the score in the electoral college based on the latest state polls. it’s run by an avowed kerry supporter, so electoralprojection.com is its right thinking altrernative.

one week

seven days

one hundred sixty eight hours

that’s what’s left

i’ve returned to you, my non-existet minions to feed your need for insanity in the week leading up to the day that will start the most massive accumulation of billable hours in the history of law. while some on the right and the left see this as the election which will make or break the history of the united states of america, those who are even now preparing yellow pads and sharpening pencils see it as something more…nirvana. not only will they possibly determine the next president and the direction of the country at a pivotal time, these masses of lawyers will be paid ridiculous sums to do so. tort reform, my ass.

so let’s take a li’l tour around the web and see what we find, eh?

oh it’s lizzie edwards , unrelated to the bordens, assuring a supporter that there will be no riots, “if we win.” this should be no surprise after her admission that she’s a big fan of daily kos . you remember him, he’s the guy who celebrated when the four civilian contractors were butchered in fallujah. nice company she keeps, huh?

what else do we see on the great big internet?

well, yesterday the ny times breathlessly reported that 380 tons of high explosives went missing after the us whupped saddam’s boys. oh, that requires a free registration to the nytimes, don’t be afraid, like the commercial says, just do it. now about that, you’ve got josh marshall and others spinning furiously ever since that came out because, there was this li’l ol’ report on nbc basically saying that it weren’t there when we got there. a connundrum to say the least. but let’s also not talk about the fact that this material is less than 1/10 of 1% of the total amount of loose explosives that have already been secured or destroyed in iraq. nope let’s not mention that part.

ok, that’s enough to start…more later.

UPDATE: now cnn is also touting the nbc story and note the last line about lockhart’s bloviation.

west texas opinion

this is a great site to get some background on the new film friday night lights from the odessa papers and website..

i’m flying in winchester cathedral

monday morning. again. ever have one of those people who tries to help you and without fail manages to make things worse by their effort? they mean well and their hearts are in the right place, but man, if they try any harder to help you it’ll be lucky if you avoid a coffin! anyway, with that in mind let’s take a look at monday morning. eh, fuck that, close your eyes and pick a link!

tim noah, no relation to yannick i don’t think, supposes that the election rests on swing voter’s self esteem and has some cretive suggestions for lefty 527s.

with everyone weighing in on the debate, we get this from noted pollster and commentator and all around good guy, charlie cook.

drudge and some others seem intent on proving that they can be just as maniacally loony as the folks on the other side of the aisle by flogging this non issue to death like stevie cauthen on angle dust. please someone tell the president that if he brings this up on friday he’ll look like a moron.

many of my friends who choose to advocate for the election of a charles addams character to the highest office in the land have been gloating about polls in the last 72 hours which makes me curious about their understanding of the concept of irony as these same people were just last week de-bunking these same polls and accusing them of bias, lying, cattle rustling, horn swaggling and i believe both bigamy and bestiality (which as we all know is the specific playground of rickie man on dog santorum).

the folks at letterman’s late show have the fans weigh in on host network cbs’ credibility.

rip janet leigh, 1927-2004.

is the endorsement of kerry by bush’s hometown paper balanced out by the endorsement of bush by a massachussetts paper?

the yanks win the division, again, the jets are undefeated, the giants 3-1 and big ben managed not to heave any balls to the bengals. a good weekend.

is thre more news out there? yep. do i have time to look at it all? nope. has anyone read this? probably not!

one more sign of the apocalypse

li’l love guns

they call it flickr

while i do have some pics that i might like to post, unfortunately flickr.com, to whom i signed over large segments of my life and security for the right to post photos to my blog, seems to be down. they’re probably giggling and trying to figure out how to divvy up the $2.75 they got from breaking into my checking account.

in the land of servers going buggy, polipundit.com is down as it crashed its new servers in the aftermath of the debate, or during the debate, or sometime around the debate. i blame the unholy conglomeration of the tin foil hat brigade and moonbats who populate satan’s playground (do take the time to read some of the posts in the forums) and i hate america. why not? if they can blame bush for everything else, i can blame them. tee hee.

better dead than red

the 2004 “how berkeley can you be parade” took place on september 19th way out west in cali and zombie submits the following photo essay which is definitely not safe for little eyes. i’m particularly enamored of the depiction of the “wild eyed communist!”

the fat lady is not singing yet

but that doesn’t mean that the buckeyes have a snowball’s chance in hell of pulling this one out. we have no qb, we have a freshman tb who’s not starting. we suck. buh bye top ten. hello, 20-25. we suck. zwick sucks. we have like one player at each freakin’ position. f*ck! double f*ck!

UPDATE: north effin’ western 33 osu 27

can i say again? zwick sucks. maybe he’s colorblind and can’t tell who his receivers are. he’s lucky to come out of this with only one int because the guys in purple couldn’t hold onto the ball or he’d have had at least 3. and the nuge whiffs from 40? somebody’s been reading their own press clippings. and our d can’t stop the scoring machine that is north freakin’ western? when tresselball goes bad, it’s not pretty. ugh.

it’s saturday. it’s october. it’s football.

a cool autum breeze is blowing through the window carrying the smell of leaves and bringing a chill to the room. it’s a saturday in october and that can only mean one thing: college football.

we’re two hours away from the beginning of a staurday ritual that runs through the fall. the voice of keith jackson screaming “whoa nelly.” bob griese making little or no sense as he sputters through another one-sided broadcast. marching bands. cheerleaders. fight songs and real rivalries. yeah, i know it’s 4 weeks into the season, piss off. i just started the blog and this is what i’m thinking about today!

now the game that matters, of course, my buckeyes taking on the eggheads of northwestern, comes tonight at 9pm on espn2. have the buckeyes found an offense? will it be a nail biter? is “tressel-ball” designed to thin out the ranks of ohio state fans by inducing mass coronaries throughout the season? these questions and more will be ansered tonight!

but between then and now are a host of other great games, so buckle up, me buckos and settle in for a long day.

at noon on espn an unbeaten west virginia takes on virginia tech which besides being a cross border rival, also lost a heart breaker last week to nc state, so they’ll be pissed off and ready to play especially at home.

UPDATE: virginia tech 19 west virginia 13 final

way out in the plains at 12:30 on fsn we see #1 oklahoma taking on the scoring machine offense that is the red raiders of texas tech in norman. will it be aa blowout? probably. will it still be fun to watch? you betcha. last week texas tech came back from a 30-5 halftime defecit to knock off kansas, now i know, it’s kansas, but still, they can score points in bunches. however, so can the sooners’ jason white who wants to make a case for another heisman.

UPDATE: oklahoma 28 texas tech 13 final

at 2:30 the boilermakers take their undefeated season and the arm of kyle orton to south bend on nbc to face a 3-1 fighting irish team that is lately rallying behind sophomore qb brady quinn outta dublin, ohio. notre dame has feasted of late on inexperienced qb’s, orton is many things, but inexperienced is not one of them.

UPDATE: purdue 41 motre dame 16 final

an sec showdown at 3:30 on cbs takes us to athens for the bulldogs v. the lsu tigers in a battle with serious national championship ramifications. already 3-1, another loss knocks lsu out of contention for all intents and purposes. georgia’s already stout defense gets a shit in the arm with the return of stud all american lb odell thurman. lsu’s offense is not going to give the d enough points to pitch a shutout in this one.

UPDATE: georgia 45 lsu 16 (they look mean, stu, real mean)

another sec battle, this time between two unbeatens again with bcs implications comes at 7:45 when tennessee and auburn face off down in rocky top land on espn. it’s sick that i can even contemplate cheering for tennessee, but they do have the son of a former steeler booting it in what should be an all american year for him, dustin colquitt. ok, so i’ll cheer for him and still root against the vols even though it might be wishful thinking in this one. it’ll be close and the field position game favors tennessee tonight.

UPDATE: auburn 34 tennessee 10 (field position, my a**, who’s got the keys to the escalade?)

god, i love fall.

the morning after

so he bombed. not a huge stinking turd of a bomb lying there on the stage for all to see and try to avoid while tut tutting about the fact that they have to walk around it, but still a bomb. dick morris thankfully gave me a little hope this morning with the idea that this is a bushy just full of himself and not really engaged, like the 2000 primary debates version.

from that start let me tell ya where i’m headed: rove. what’s been karl’s m.o. from day one? attack what the opponent counts as his strengths. even with last night’s performance, is lurch gonna surpass bushy on the security issues? i doubt it. all bushy had to do was not make the huge glaring error in this one as he’s got lotsa padding to backslide through no matter what.

on the other hand, where does lurch poll well? domestic issues. what’s his one strength? the fact that people think he’ll do more to help them at home than bushy. when do ya think karl’s looking to land the straight left to that big inviting chin? they already own security, regardless of what was said last night, bushy owns him on security. where he can win new supporters is on domestic issues where he’s perceived to be lacking.

so in my conspiracy theorist little way, i conjure a scenario…bush was not as well prepared coming into this because he wasn’t taking lurch seriously and he knew that no matter what, short of a complete meltdown at the podium that he wasn’t gonna lose his lead on foreign policy. so he got cocky and did what he usually does when he’s feeling cocky, he sloughed off a bit. but he got hurt out there. karen and karl are gonna make him watch that tape over and over and say, “see, see what you look like when you don’t prepare?”

now, the domestic debate is supposed to be owned by lurch. let’s just see.

the brain of tsun for bushy

i may have to re-think my support for gw. when a rotten miserable horrible member of the devil’s brigade like Bo Freakin’ Schembechler comes out in support for the president, it does give one pause.

and the result

kerry by a nose.