unplug the jukebox

ok, so tomorrow the senate begins debate russ’ censure bill. this follows the release of the dems new plan for homeland defense. no disconnect there.

jack abramoff gets the minimum. way to slam the guys perverting the political process there, judge.

one of our favorite’s of all time, rep. cynthia mckinney, d-ga, makes news again today. this time she took a swing at a member of the capitol police. they have their own police force? like the vatican? did she clock him a good one?

perhaps the notorious b.i.g. can rest in peace now that his family has gotten $1.1m from the city of los angeles for their wrongful death suit against the city. reached in the afterlife, b.i.g. was unable to comment due to thc induced coma.

that’s the last cbsnews link, i swear.

i have had absolutely no energy, inspiration or motivation whatso-fucking-ever lately and i think it’s time to take the bull by the horns and join a gym so that i’ll actually have a financial stake in this whole exercise thing. plus the idea of my darling wife wailing about how much it costs will surely be motivation to hit the treadmill, right? anyway, duty calls…

animal farm

so my two stories of the day are the killer cat in connecticut and two years for a goldfish.

a restraining order for a cat? i mean who hasn’t wanted to attack the avon lady?

was i the only one who heard the strains of john doe? “in manhattan, they raise goldfish. some of them fish gotta die.”

pre-oxy bagel fueled rant #11a

the pdfs are too big. the sand is too clean. the soles of my shoes are broken and it looks like rain.

why is there a watermelon there?

i am so glad that there was no internet when i was a kid. i mean let’s face it, when we’re kids we all say and do some dumb things. many of those tendenciesare carried over into adolescence and even adulthood in some cases, but when we’re young, man the things we can say!

i came to this conclusion affter googling a friend the other day. i found something she’d written when she was thirteen. thirteen. are there not laws against anything we write prior to age eighteen being held in cyberspace to be used against us some day? but i digress. i’ve know this girl since she was about eighteen. in that time she’s done nothing but convince me that she is a cross between the reincarnated dorothy parker, annie sprinkle with some of john ford’s feminine side thrown in for good measure. that’s just who she’s always been and i had assumed that she’d started that way pretty much at birth. well, no.

thanks to the the power of the internet, there preserved for me in a dark corner of cynberspace was a window into who she was before the cynicism kicked in, a portrait of innocent exhuberance complete with smileys and asterisks and tildes. i was surprised that there were not a mish mash of capital and lower-case letters. i was irrationally crestfallen that she was not online to share the immediacy of my discovery. email can be such a cold and impersonal vessel of tidings.

it got me thinking. we’re raising a generation of people whose entire lives for the most part are chronicled on some server somewhere. all of the traumas of youth and the rages and the hormones and the moods are captured on xanga and myspace and friendster and message boards. sure they can be deleted, but once written, the words are never really gone. someone can always find them someday. so will future leaders have to answer for the things they said at age thirteen? will some senatorial or presidential hopeful have to explain why when he was fifteen that he listened to some rock star who at one point had had contact with a white supremecist group? will some future supreme court justice face a committee demanding to know why he or she had spend so much of their youth at a broadway themed message board?

maybe i’m just overthinking things and that the follies of youth will remain just that, but does anyone really think that’s true?

blowing up propane tanks with a scoped .22

i was convinced that just by restarting this blog that i would begin writing more. shocking that i have gone six days without a fresh post. not really. i am by nature for lack of a better word, lazy. i know, i know, it’s hard to imagine. but i have a tendency to get wrapped up in anything that might divert my attention from anything involving work. yes, sometimes i see the blog as work. maybe it’s because i don’t understand html as well as i could and have to cut and paste everytime i want to post a link. how is it that i can remember the chorus to a song i just heard on the radio for the first time, but yet i cannot recal the very simple a href gobbledy gook required to make a link open in a new page? so fear. must be fear or embarrassment that keeps me from posting more.

i read some posts from my dear friend olly on her myspace blog. she writes really well to begin with and she has the luxury of being in rome. if you can’t write in europe you might as well just hang up your keyboard and walk the fuck off a cliff. she’s a pip, that one. what a life. she’s got her whole life ahead of her and she’s already got almost a year in eurpoe to kick start her creativity. i should talk, though, a year in the sticks should have given me enough material for two or three plays at the very least. a series of one-acts. a mid-season replacement series on the wb. something. but alas, i have a blog. one that i don’t keep up with. cue the droopy dog theme song about now.

and fuck tha police…

piss aaron and the timbuk three

ok, i pretty much despise boston sports in general. like a lot of people i was willing to climb on the pats bandwagon every once in a while because they were a great story. y’know, everybody’s hurt, they’re playing linebackers at tight end, belichick’s an evil genius…maybe part of it was some unconscious desire to see bill do well after the cleveland debacle. whatever. they beat my steelers and at that point they became dead to me. which puts me into a dilemma because i have such a man crush on bill simmons. i read his stuff and weep with gales of uncontrollable laughter. so today, i got a little choked up reading his paean to paul pierce. the guy’s good. simmons, that is. i could give a fuck for pierce or the freakin’ celts. i have my own wailing misery here in gotham city with the poseiden adventure sans shelly winters that is my knicks.

jane hamsher assures us that arianna’s right, dahlinks, and you just need to listen to her, the queen of it all and stop, just stop with the accusations and the disapproving comments. do you hear me you evil little men over at wonkette? fuck with me and you’ll wish halperin’s posse had found you first, bitches.

i saw a link entitled the fallaci code over at rcp. imagine my shock that it had nothing to do with oral sex.

with that, it’s back to work.

green acres is the place for me

Okay, so all of my friends on the other side of the aisle were championing, and indeed i linked to (and do so again) George Clooney’s I am a Liberal! rant over at the Huffington Post. Well, today George is out there claiming that while the statements are true, he sure as heck didn’t give them permission to blog them. Please, this is like saying, I agreed to the intercourse, but i could not believe he wanted to do it doggy style! That’s just not me at all.

But just as fun is Arianna back at her cocoon wailing that it’s so totally not her fault, it’s that damn minion of George’s who fucked this whole thing up. Surely you cannot blame me, dahlings. If it was anyone’s fault it was that awful Arnold the Pig, he’s always sneaking in here and changing things without tellling anyone, I mean who would have thought that he could even type with those cute little cloven hooves, but there we are. So you see, minion or pig, you choose, but do not look at me like that or I’ll buy your parents house and have it razed, you little peon. Stop breathing my air. Now! Get out! Go!

update
huffpo has removed georgie boy’s entry. wonkette and defamer are all over it and are much wittier than me at this point, so go see ‘em!

sweet home alabama

Geez, I leave Northeastern Ohio and the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame decides to have a wild party with the feuding members of Skynyrd acting like boy scouts and the petulant Blondie back-ups still crying like babies. Also inducted, Miles Davis Sex Pistols and Black Sabbath. Herbie Hancock led an all-star tribute to Miles and Metallica played a few Sabbath songs since Ozzy thought it was all part of a new season of the Osbournes and went outside to walk the dog. Johnny Rotten and the boys in typical Pistols fashion told the whole bunch to piss off and refused to show up or to allow their stufff to be used. Exterminate.

Issac Hayes, after enjoying a long run as Chef on South Park is leaving the show over it’s “inappropriate ridicule” of religion. Well, since his invite to the party was a copy of the “Spirit of Christmas” one wonders why ol’ Issac was so fed up. Could it be that the boys decided to go after his religion/cult/moneymaking brainwash scam, the Church of Scientology? I was curious what could possibly have driven the master of the chocolate sweaty balls to such lengths and then I saw the episode that attacked the peace loving and devout Scientologists. You can watch it here, thanks to Ariana’s generosity. Personallly, I thought it was hilarious. Especially the Rainman homage in the closet.

ok, i actually have to work today, i’lll be back later with more thrilling commentary and silly links.

tommy can you hear me

I’ll be going to hell thanks to the friend who shared this.

this is not a love song

well, our favorite warm and cuddly senator, rantin’ russ feingold did indeed introduce his censure resolution in the senate yesterday. and ya could heard a pin drop. no co-sponsors. his own party blocked a vote rather than stand up and be counted. i’m just wondering how blockage of a roll call vote was dubya’s fault. oh russie baby,the kossacks just came in huge thick spurts all over their keyboards. you are so hillary’s main rival now.

strange bedfellows rick “man on dog” santorum and dick “i can make your wife cry” durbin co-sponsor this amendment that i support and you should too. calll your senator if you even think they might vote against it. do it now.

oh my dear lord, according to michelle malkin and others, claud has a twin named floyd. this is sooo general hospital. i bet he found out about bush’s weather control machine.

your daily wonkette fix. oh god, that’s a frightening sight. go there, tell the wonkette twins how awful they are!

google goes to bat to protect your right to search for child porn on the internet without fear of gov’t snooping. bravo! now let’s get back to the work of blocking unapproved sites in china there, google.

from the news of the weird, penis: it’s what’s for dinner.

if i were in norway i wouldn’t be hungover

i’d still be drunk! it’s like the real life land of the big rock candy mountain.

it’s morning in america and i’m still hungover from the wedding present

evidently i, along with several others, was not invited to the annual gridiron dinner down in the capitol. i start blogging again and immediately the invites stop rolling in. that sound you hear are big salty tears shorting out my keyboard. fortunately wonkette was able to glean some facts and capture this report which makes clear all the high-larity we poor stepchildren of the political process missed out on. the weeping continues unabated, thank you.

according to the bbc, good ol’ boy and former handmaiden to the evil empire, slob-o milosevic seems to have taken the wrong drugs. yeah. it’s nice to see how things in eastern europe really haven’t changed that much from the bad ol’ days when the bulgarians were running around with ricin tipped umbrellas. i mean did anyone really think that slob-o was going to make it to the witness stand? i don’t mean to be much of a conspiracy theorist here, but c’mon, people! and lee harvey oswald was going to make it to trial too, wasn’t he?

champion of the kossarians, russ feingold is going to or already has or might at some point introduce a measure in the senate to censure dubya. well, that’s one way to get momentum back after the srlc. or something. it’s great for the left that there are people who think that this is anything more than a symbolic gesture on russ’ part to throw more red meat to those who already hold him in a higher regard than the former first lady. sure the gop bucked dubya on the ports deal, but they’re gonna sign on to a censure? only in the fever swamp do such things happen.

evidently, george clooney got plenty of pats on the back for his “i’m proud to be out of touch” moment at the oscars and now feels compelled to build upon that success over at the huffpo with today’s defiant screed, i am a liberal. I say more power to georgie boy and damn the rest of the democrats for not having his cojones. step up and be proud to be a liberal. please. is there somewhere that i can donate to this cause to make sure that they will continue this sort of purple prose right up until november? seriously, more power to george for speaking his mind forcefully and *cough* persuasively stating his case. i think until more people come out of the closet and state clearly and for the record what they believe so that the american people know for sure where they stand, the democratic party will be doomed to just barely losing elections. once they leap firmly into clooney camp they can get on with the business of losing in landslides which i think is necessary for them to do in order to finaly divorce themselves from the farthest left among them. let’s face it, the gop plays to the right because americans are in general more conservative on social issues and absent a huge overpowering reason to vote against those views will vote gop and lie about it.

in other news, peyton manning’s career has pretty much peaked with this news. yeah, let’s see how that game plan works next year with nothing but you back there, p.

sayanaora.

just like the prodigal son

i returned.

after a brief sojourn in the sticks, we’re back in the big apple and looking for trouble.

i’ve been spending way too much time on a message board recently and realized that all of the energy that i’m expending there might be better served keeping this place up to date and actually writing something for me. oh, and of course you, dear reader.

i think what got me was sitting in mass today when the idea of the word reactionary hit me. i mean, it’s defined by american heritage as a noun an opponent of progress or liberalism; an extreme conservative, but to me sitting there it literally meant one who reacts. of which i think i’ve been doing far too much lately. so, the mambopalace is back and we’ll try to be a bit more diligent about keeping it real, ya’ll.