the future of the country is way fucked

last friday night the wife and i were on our way home after having attended a lovely cabaret-type show in which i was incited to scream at the top of my lungs, “i love my cock” and my darling wife hollered with equal vigor, “i love my clit,” pasta was used as a sex toy and a bottle of jamesons was violated in a way that still has me cringing. now the 7 train was pretty crowded so squeezed in next and around us were a group of studenst who’d just come from some kind of rally or meeting. i listened as they rattled off to each other the many “facts” that they had learned in school which had been confirmed for them at tis meeting: 9/11 was a plot by the american government, tony blai and george bush were masons, the revolutionary war never happened…and so on. it was like reading snopes in reverse. it didn’t boither me so much that these kids were talking about them, oh yeah, and talking about the need for a real people’s revolution in the united states to give the country back to the people. no, it was the way they spoke of these disparate pieces of lies and propaganda as “facts” because they had learned them in college. i almost screamed, “my tax dollars are paying for what???” it made me sad for the country. academia hates america and is growing a generation of natural born revolutionaries. my only soothing thought was the realization that today’s youth is far too lazy to accomplish the kinds of radical violent golas theses kids were espousing just as loud as they could on a crowded train. the university is turning into the american madrassa and its graduates will eventually numbr enough and be radicalized enough to start a new civil war.

where have ya joseph goebbels, connecticut turns it’s lonely eyes to you

joe lieberman, the man who puts neo-nazis in the military. i can’t imagine that there’ll be any backlash against this:

what does the creator owe the audience? or stephen hunter makes me think deep thoughts on a friday

i was reading stephen hunter’s review of miami vice in the washington post this morning and i dropped him a line about his own books. see steve-o’s not just a reviewer, but a novelist as well and i am a big fan of his books. after i wrote him, i was tooling around the post website and found another article he’d written recently about sequels. now hunter knows from sequels. 8 of his 11 novels have overlapping characters so in some sense they are sequels or prequels. the article and the review got me thinking about what the creator of a popular series or characters owes his or her audience.

now there’s a school of thought that the creator owes the audience nothing and that’s completely justifiable. the characters and world created come from them and them alone and they have every right to take it in any direction they choose. the thought could end right there, but does it really? what motivates a creator to continue with a world? i mean if you create some characters which strike a chord and find an audience why not follow them through more adventures? conventional and pocket-book wisdom says that if you’ve got a popular commodity that you should strike while the iron is hot especially if you create a series of them. there’s nothing to be gained by alienating your audience. imagine if rowling suddenly had harry potter join forces with valdamort. what if luke skywalker had joined darh vader and the emperor? what if rocky had loaded up on steroids and defected to the soviet union? jack ryan suddenly turned out to have been a soviet plant all along? john maclane throws in with the terrorists for the money? jack bauer turns out to have been working for the chinese all along? imagine the uproar among fans.

so maybe it’s about keeping a franchise popular and solvent, but the optimist in me has to believe that if someone keeps writing about characters over and over that they have some affection for those characters and feel some sense of responsibility towards them. not necessarily for the audience’s sake but for their own. now i can certainly understand creators getting tired of the characters and wanting to move on to something else and feeling the need to close the chapter of their lives in which that world was so important. but what of those who resurrect characters and worlds only to completely change them?

now i’m not talking about when someone re-inverts or re-interprets the work of others taking it in a drastically different direction or even when a director and screenwriter completely twist a book to fit into their medium and worldview (clear and present danger comes to mind, nazis indeed!). i mean when the creator of a character or world comes back to it years later with a different eye and turns those characters on their head or simply uses the same names and places to create an entirely new world unrelated except in name to the original. unsurprisingly, i can’t reconcile the way i feel about this. on one hand i completely support the creator’s right to do whatever he wants with his or her own creations, but on the other, as a fan, i want to gouge his or her eyes out for taking away or changing characters i knew and loved.

maybe if i ever finish writing anything, i’ll have to face this dilemma myself. in the meantime, i just don’t know.

godfather, linda lovelace’s lost daughter and coked up hookers

the corleones. alive and well in upstate ny. gail soro will be playing the jack woltz part in tonight’s performance.

h/t rawstory

saddam finally accepts his fate and now it’s all about style.

missouri woman gets a chance to prove her claims at being linda lovelace’s long lost daughter or “when i put it on vibrate it tickles my duodenum.”

when you don’t use capital letters, headlines can get very scary: australia calls on ‘rodzilla’ against all blacks.

if your name is donnie ray just expect that you’re gonna get caught.

if you haven’t been follwoing wonkette’s coverage of the maryland senate race then you have been missing some of the most entertaining political follies this side of bob “i enjoy cocaine because it’s a fun thing to do” wexler’s colbert appearance.

i just get a kick out of this cartoon.

an open leter to alex rodriguez (a-rod)

dear alex,

i hope yer not taking the last week or so too seriously. it’s gotta be tough to have yer every twitch on the field folded spindled and mutilated by every pundit and second guessing never been that can read a paper. it happens. relax, man, you’re too good for it to last, so be confident in your talent and don’t go looking to change things.

you’ve probably been in nyc long enough now to see how the press sells papers and gets ratings for the newscasts by pouncing on every event as either the greatest thing ever to have happened in the history of baseball or the worst to have ever happened since the dawn of recorded history. you’ve been both and will continue to be both, but take a look out in the stands and see how many #13 jerseys ya see. it’s a whole crapload, ain’t it? thought so.

there are people you’re never gonna please in this town and most of them sit at keyboards or in front of cameras. fuck ‘em. some drunks are always gonna boo ya in hopes of getting on sportscenter with their bellies hanging out. fuck ‘em. yer teammates respect you and the vast majority of the fans love you. be patient, be confidant, be you. hell yer getting paid to play a kids game, pal, so have fun. it’ll come, alex. you know it will so don’t press for it.

anyway, what do i know? i’m glad yer a yankee.

con-ed still sucks and now the sky’s on fire

exploding manholes are one thing. they’re frightening and unexpected and damn dangerous, but we’ve seen them before and we’re, if not used to, at least not completely taken aback by their occurrence. now on the other hand, when overhead wires start bursting into flame, baby, that’s a whole different thang. that kinda stuff just cuts to the heart of consumer confidence. when we can’t even take it for granted that the fucking wires over our heads will not spontaneously burst into flame, well, i think things have degraded somewhat.

lunchbox teabagged my balls

so i checked my mypace today, which is frequented my like three more people that those who read this. myspace is hilarious. some of my myspace friends include, howard stern, artie lange and kevin smith. of those three, kevin smith updates his myspace pretty regularly and seems to be a bit of a cyber geek. he even has a magazine interview where he talks about it and it’s compared to the longtail theory currently making the rounds.

it is kinda wild that on the same system where pervs are trolling for unerage girls and boys, cops are trolling for pervs, terrorists are porbably making deals, exhibitionists are flaunting themselves and families are just normally interacting that stars and nobodies co–mingle bodyless but full of speech and attitude. what an opportunity.

support the stem cell override

the senate is 4 votes short of being able to override a presidential veto of the stem cell bill. four votes. the house is 54 votes shy. i know that a lot of people disagree with me on this issue, but doggone i think it’s important to the country and to humanity as a whole that we do not shackle our researchers. safeguards are in place to protect our sensibilites and innocent life. i urge anyone who reads this to either copy the following letter i wrote or write your own. but if you believe in this issue, do something.

Dear Senator/Representative ________,

I read today that you voted against H.R.810. While I understand that your vote on principle, I would respectfully ask that you consider changing it.

The vast majority of the American people favor this research. 60% of Americans believe that the government should be funding such research. The embryos used in such research are not going to be saved. They will be thrown away. Congress has seen to it that prohibitions are in place in the form of S.3504, which was unanimously approved, to prevent scientists from growing and harvesting embryos specifically for this science. You’ve made sure that won’t happen which is a good thing.

But to deny any new lines, to preclude any government funded research into a field which could potentially raise the lame from their beds and wheelchairs based on the idea that doing so will prevent those embryos from being destroyed is wrong. These are embryos that will be destroyed. The American people understand that and will hold accountable in the voting booth those who vote to deny their relatives, family and friends a chance at every possible avenue of a cure for their ailments.

The safeguards are in place, please think over whether you want to be on the side of progress. With this vote so close, any senator who changes now will be remembered. Those who supported this all along will be forgotten, but history will remember the brave few who chose progress over partisanship.

I hope that you will be one of them.

following are the senators who votes against the bill:

allard (r-co)
allen (r-va)
bond (r-mo)
brownback (r-ks)
bunning (r-ky)
burns (r-mt)
chambliss (r-ga)
coburn (r-ok)
coleman (r-mn)
cornyn (r-tx)
craig (r-id)
crapo (r-id)
demint (r-sc)
dewine (r-oh)
dole (r-nc)
domenici (r-nm)
ensign (r-nv)
enzi (r-wy)
graham (r-sc)
grassley (r-ia)
hagel (r-ne)
inhofe (r-ok)
isakson (r-ga)
kyl (r-az)
martinez (r-fl)
mcconnell (r-ky)
nelson (d-ne)
roberts (r-ks)
santorum (r-pa)
sessions (r-al)
shelby (r-al)
sununu (r-nh)
talent (r-mo)
thomas (r-wy)
thune (r-sd)
vitter (r-la)
voinovich (r-oh)

following are the house mambers who voted against the override (democrats in italics on this list):

aderholt
akin
alexander
bachus
baker
barrett (sc)
bartlett (md)
beauprez
bilirakis
bishop (ut)
blackburn
blunt
boehner
bonilla
bonner
boozman
boustany
brady (tx)
brown (sc)
burgess
burton (in)
buyer
camp (mi)
campbell (ca)
cannon
cantor
carter
chabot
chocola
cole (ok)
conaway
costello
crenshaw
cubin
culberson
davis (ky)
davis (tn)
davis, jo ann
deal (ga)
diaz-balart, l.
diaz-balart, m.
doolittle
drake
duncan
ehlers
english (pa)
everett
feeney
ferguson
fitzpatrick (pa)
flake
forbes
fortenberry
foxx
franks (az)
gallegly
garrett (nj)
gillmor
gingrey
gohmert
goode
goodlatte
graves
green (wi)
gutknecht
hall
harris
hart
hastert
hastings (wa)
hayes
hayworth
hefley
hensarling
herger
hobson
hoekstra
holden
hostettler
hulshof
hunter
hyde
inglis (sc)
istook
jenkins
jindal
johnson (il)
johnson, sam
jones (nc)
kaptur
keller
kennedy (mn)
kildee
king (ia)
king (ny)
kingston
kline
knollenberg
kuhl (ny)
lahood
latham
lewis (ky)
linder
lipinski
lobiondo
lucas
lungren, daniel e.
manzullo
marchant
marshall
mccaul (tx)
mccotter
mccrery
mchenry
mchugh
mcintyre
mcmorris
mica
miller (fl)
miller (mi)
miller, gary
mollohan
moran (ks)
murphy
musgrave
myrick
neugebauer
ney
norwood
nunes
nussle
oberstar
osborne
otter
oxley
paul
pearce
pence
peterson (mn)
peterson (pa)
petri
pickering
pitts
poe
pombo
price (ga)
putnam
radanovich
rahall
rehberg
renzi
reynolds
rogers (al)
rogers (ky)
rogers (mi)
ros-lehtinen
royce
ryan (wi)
ryun (ks)
saxton
schmidt
sensenbrenner
sessions
shadegg
sherwood
shimkus
shuster
simpson
smith (nj)
smith (tx)
sodrel
souder
stearns
stupak
sullivan
tancredo
taylor (ms)
taylor (nc)
terry
thornberry
tiahrt
tiberi
turner
walsh
wamp
weldon (fl)
weller
westmoreland
whitfield
wicker
wilson (sc)
wolf
young (fl)

make a difference. send an email. print one out and sign your name and drop it in an envelope. make a call. send a fax. do something!

support gay iranians today

today is the international day of action against homophobic persecution in iran. it’s worldwide. check out the link for local times and places and stop by and lend your support. a free iran where human rights are respected is an ally in the region, so if you’re serious about peace, if you’re serious about stability in the middle east, if you’re serious about freedom you’ll get your butts out and support those who are being brutalized.

con-ed blows me like a hybrid sex queen comprised of linda lovelace, jeanna fine and heather brookes

i don’t really care what the reason. i don’t care whose fault it is. i want my fucking power back at full strength. i don’t want to listen to my fan’s velocity rising and falling like some sickly sopwith camel trying to make it back to friendly airspace. i don’t want to watch my lights do their impression of every disaster movie in recorded history flcikering like lightning bugs on peyote. i don’t to hear my air conditioner struggle to start like benny’s maxwell when i have no rochester to coax it to life. i dont’ want to hear that entire lines of the subway are not operating because con-ed hasn’t the juice to power them. what the fuck? the greatest city on the face of the earth has no juice? northern queens must suffer for the rest of the city to thrive? fix it you fucks. do i get to pay just a portion of my bill? how would mighty con-ed react should i tell them, sorry guys, demand is too great this month, i’m only gonna be able to pay you 40% of the bill. sorry how that happens, but y’know, the demand was just too much for my wallet to bear this time around.

fuck con-ed and the horse they rode in on. i want open markets and serious cometition and multiple new power plants and upgraded delivery capacity and i want it fucking yesterday! brownouts are not acceptable. bending over for every half baked tree hugging enviro-nutbag and whiny elitist shit whose worried about losing their view is not acceptable. i want my ac and i want it right goddamn now. i will so buy my own goddamn bio-diesel generator and go off the fucking grid.

random cartoon musing

i can’t imagine what might have put me in the mood to muse on cartoon characters who inspire lust. nope, just popped into my head out of the blue.

growing up in the 70’s there were not a lot of hot cartoon characters. let’s face it, cartoon were studiously 2-d and the women and girls were just kinda vanilla. i mean sure there was daphne and wonder woman. other than that…i’m drawing a blank here. sure, the scooby gang brought on celebrities later in the run, sonny and cher, mama cass, the harlem globetrotters. maybe they slipped in a hottie and i missed it. but for the most part, 70’s cartoons were disturbingly bland and free sex symbols.

the 80’s changed that. he-man and the masters of the universe changed that. they were the first of the scantily clad bosomy sex goddesses that i recall. granted, it helped that he-man was most definitely gay so you bothered less with his troubles with skeletor and more with, “when are the hot chicks coming back?” now i know you’re saying, duh, of course you noticed hot cartoons then you were 12. au contraire. i noticed hot chicks from age 4 on. puberty lasted a good 20 years in my case. once he-man opened the gate, then we had she-ra princess of power. the trend of the 80’s culminated in the big screen vamping of kathleen turner as what was at that time the ultimate cartoon sex symbol: jessica rabbit.

the thing that made jessica rabbit different, though, and somehow less desirable, was that she was drawn for that distinct purpose. she was supposed to ooze sex appeal and make yer heart go pitty pat. the wonder of the true cartoon sex kitten was when their sexuality was incidental top their character. they just happened to be too hot for words. that’s what we got in the 90’s.

aeon flux. bad ass and hot to boot.

hello nurse. ok, maybe that was just me.

harley quinn. the ultimate. crazy as a loon, hotter than the sun. there’s a woman out there on the internet who masquerades as harley. i, i, if i weren’t married, i would so stalk her.

and there’s the day by day women…and sam’s behind.

peach, puppy dog & poo

so as i prepare to undertake the adventure of an ohio trip to celebrate my father’s 90th birthday i find myself thinking about family quirks. particularly my family’s penchant for nicknames. now i know that lotsa families have nicknames but mine goes all out. always has. through the years we’ve gone through a dizzying succession of nicknames for one another. some have stuck, some were discarded as new ones came along, and new ones always came along.

there’s peach, because his head has more often than not been closely cropped and fuzzy like one.

nanny is not an actual nanny, but rather one of the first of the nicknames from the next generation.

betty was betty only to uncle louie, she gets the use of her given name by the rest of us.

poor puppy dog will still bear this appellation into his 50’s and beyond.

christo was teeny in youth and christo in adulthood and now in perpetuity.

tubb was tubby as a child, but lost it when the coiner passed away and the rest of us lost enthusiasm for it, so he gets his real name used.

balky was the next of the next generation nicknames born of young mouths for whom pronunciation was a distant goal.

el rio was ree ree in youth and hated it. for the most part he gets use of his real name, but some still use variations on the the ree except for the one who uses montalban which was coined by balky.

poo is not a dig nor a reference to #2. it’s supposedly related to the character winnie the, but i don’t remember the specifics of it as i was only about 3 or 4 when i coined it. she has known no other name within the family circle. ever. in junior high often her friends who called using her given name were told, “there’s no one here by that name.”

carlos amigos merely got his name spanglicized and never complained.

day by day

so i made a few changes to the formatting this morning to allow me to include my fave internet cartoon: day by day by chris muir. i never start my day without checking on the adventures of damon, jan, zed & sam so i thought i ought to have them frolicking over my babblings daily so that anybody who accidentally finds this little den of iniquity i call my blog can enjoy them as much as i do. if you enjoy it, link to it or donate a buck or two to help chris defray the costs of keeping us entertained. and drop him a line. unlike some cartoonists who shall remain nameless (curse you garry trudeau, i’m still waiting to hear back on my duke queries, you self important monkey fucking nif-nod asshole bastard), he’s quite responsive. so enjoy, day by day.

vlad vs. sea monsters and giant robots

so vlad putin, president of the russian federation, took some time off from kissing the stomachs of young boys and answered a few questions from the russian people. after an interview with some tv talking heads he addressed the top concerns sent in via the internet by russians. two of the top issues: the giant mythical octopus cthulhu and gigantic, humanoid war robots.

now i would try to rationalize this and say it’s fraud or that some enterprising bloggers overwhelmed the servers with silly questions, but one look at http://english.pravda.ru/”target=”_blank”>pravda disabuses me of those notions.

h/t ace

ann coulter goes down on kos at kaus

this is a test, this is only a test.